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The ABC's of Choosing a Good Wife: How to find & marry a great girl, by Stephen Wood
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How to find a good wife from a Christian perspective.
- Sales Rank: #420397 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Family Life Center
- Published on: 2003
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Paperback
- 173 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Most helpful customer reviews
25 of 32 people found the following review helpful.
A good resource for High School and College Youths
By Dennis M.
While I applaud Steve Wood for putting a book like this together, I find that this book is better suited for a teenager and young adult audience - particularly high school and college age. If you are a single man (or woman) over 25, I recommend reading "Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World" and "Boy Meets Girl" instead. That's why I gave this book only 3 stars.
A large point that Mr. Wood makes is that our "culture" needs to change. I strongly agree. Over the past 35 years, gender roles have become confused, and some men don't know how to act like men. Men haven't taken responsibility, and our society has seen the results of this "selfishness" (divorce, single mothers, sexually transmitted diseases, acceptance of premarital sex, growth of pornography, deadbeat dads, fathers who abandon children, etc.) Men need to be more involved with raising children, and need to understand the meaning of the words "commitment" and "responsibility."
Another point I liked: Mr. Wood goes the distance that "secular dating" is only as old as the automobile, and there has been much heartbreak in this world from the "superficialness" that has infiltrated our society, particularly my generation. I liked how he emphasized that men need to think about early on what to do with their lives, and if they are called to marriage, begin preparing for that call. Women also need to be treated with upmost respect also. In my generation, my public high school crowd that consisted of intelligent and mature young adults who were not troublemakers (science club guys, Scouts, choir people, etc.) were seen as "nerds." Hopefully that is changing.
I would recommend this book (and the one for girls) to high school audiences, and a good one for parents to discuss with their children. Mr. Wood talks about things like chaperoning, boundaries of affection, and finding sponsored couples during your college years. I agree with going out in groups, and I agree with people developing other interests (hobbies, etc.) that they are not spending every waking moment with one other person.
As far as affection, I feel that some affection such as handholding and hugs are fine. As far as finding sponsor couples in college, that sounds like a great mentoring tool, but that would be hard to find. However, it would be a great suggestion for a strong Catholic Newman Center to put together.
This would also be a good resource (and the one for girls) to use for say a parish youth group (Life Teen nites, etc.) where the girls and boys could be separated. This would be a good start, and the Life Teen curriculum does cover some of this (I was a Life Teen Core Team member for about 18 months.) The same thing could be done at a Catholic High School for either a seminar or a short course in Theology, should the administration be open to it.
Quite frankly, I would love to see some Catholic High Schools and parish youth groups do something like this. It is sad that several of our "Catholic High Schools" and "Catholic Colleges" are really just "Catholic in name" only academic institutions, and have the same problems as our "public institutions" (drugs, premarital sex, immorality, watered down teaching, etc.). This is part of the reason that many Catholics who have attended some of these "Catholic in-name" institutions are no longer practicing the faith. Personally, I think a lot of parents are unaware of some of the "watering down" that has taken place in many "Catholic" schools and even at some parish youth groups. This is where "parental involvement" needs to come into more, and make sure that what is being taught is the teachings of the Holy Catholic Church.
Fortunately, there are some truly solid institutions out there (Catholic colleges) that can be found. Mr. Wood has put together some literature about finding a truly solid Catholic Institution that can be ordered from the Family Life Center website.
Appreciate your efforts Mr. Wood. You are also helping men out there to take more of an interest in Family Life, and Practice their faith. Keep it up.
7 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
General advice for the very young or immature
By Amazon Customer
Mr. Woods clearly believes in courtship as opposed to dating. I must agree with Fr. David's review in many respects, that the book is mechanical and written from one viewpoint. As a Catholic, I had previously read "Boy Meets Girl," and similar courtship books. As someone over 30, courtship in its intended form does not work well. Mr. Woods is a bit incorrect; women were riding (daytime) in carriages with men in the 1800s unchaperoned, but usually in the eyes of the community; dashing Mr. Wilder drove Laura home accompanied for 12 miles each Friday during her semester teaching away from home. . . The book is a bit mechanical in its approach, and many families with different issues can still raise good people. The advice given basically sounds like those who don't marry young are wrong or selfish---not considering that maybe we were in the military, back in college, etc. and didn't meet anyone with potential. I expect a wife to work until she has children, and then we will make the decision as a family as to what is best; many women now telecommute, work part-time when their husband can provide childcare, teach college classes online or one evening a week, or run home-based businesses, much like the wife of Proverbs 31. Kissing waiting until engagement, or even marriage? (Well, even Laura kissed after engagement!) For the young, with less experience in controlling sexual thoughts, okay, but not in general--any man of 30 who cannot control his lust should be in pastoral counseling. Possibly good for young people with some tips, but it seems too much of a methodology. There are women who occasionally consume strong drink or whose family life or mental health has not always been perfect; this book seems to discourage giving these young ladies a chance at happiness. This is not the only bias. I am surprised to be so liberal in my view, when I actually prefer the era when women wore a hat outside the home, but I find this book a bit out of touch with the modern man who was not home-schooled or sheltered.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A wonderful book. I know many priests who think so
By KC
A wonderful book. I know many priests who think so, too. Far too many people jump into marriage without taking time for the discerning Steve Wood suggests. Another good book is : Covenanted Happiness by Monsignor Burke. It is hard to find, but excellent.
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